The Grayzone

The Flying Burritos

January 30, 2007 at 6:35 pm (Uncategorized)

I went to a basketball game with a good friend of mine.  The Timberwolves hosted the Phoenix Suns, currently the NBA’s best team.  On this night, the Wolves ended the Suns’ 17-game winning streak.  Good stuff, and I don’t just mean dunks.

During timeouts, the Wolves organization worked very hard to entertain fans.  They had a contest where a fan had to throw a giant burrito into a garbage can.  He got a prize for the first, second and third burritos successfully tossed, but the contest was over if he missed at any time.  The third successful burrito toss meant 400 free burritos for fans.  The entrant missed, but the host gave everyone a chance by tossing it himself.  400 free burritos became a reality.

Burritos dropped from the arena’s ceiling attached to parachutes.  Being the college graduate that I am, I actually expected hot burritos wrapped in foil to come down from 200 feet above the arena floor.  Instead, the parachutes were attached to coupons good for a free burrito at the establishment. 

To the tune of the theme from “Apocalypse Now,” the burrito parachutes fell like skilled skydivers into the seats.  I watched grown men leap, lunge, reach and jump for the neato burrito deal.  My friend and I didn’t snicker; we thought it was hilarious.  We also liked watching the Suns watch this whole scene.  They smiled at the festivities, although they probably should’ve been listening to their coach.  Flying burritos!  I would’ve just been happy to get the parachute because my daughter would’ve enjoyed that alone.

Burrito toss.  Burrito parachutes.  Burrito mania in coupon form.  No burrito-induced sprained ankles from fans leaping on stairs, however. 

When I was really young, my Halloween costume was the “Frito Bandido,” a character named for a corn-chip lover complete with sombrero, mustache and poncho. 

If I just could’ve reached a parachute, I could’ve swapped a Frito for a Burrito Bandido.  Neat-o!  And I know who should be a future sponsor if the burritos are dropped into a pool.

Speedo.